Name change

We thought that having the word "cheaters" in our name wasn't the best idea going into the race where cheeting could be fairly common.  It may beg our car to be the people's curse winner in which it would be destroyed at the end of the race.  Therefore, we've changed the name of the team from "I'm not a Tiger, I'm a Cheetah" to "Leon the Craptacular Neon".  We worked on the roll cage last weekend and have it about a third of the way done.  We'll try to finish it up two weekends from now and will get some more pics on the blog soon.  This is the last week that team are allowed to apply for the race and so far 50 teams have applied.

Back At It.

Howdy Sports Fans.

We were back it last weekend... working on the roll cage.

Here is how the roll cage arrived:

Notice the split cardboard wrapper on one set of the pipes. The floor plates were in there but were lost in shipping. In addition, if there were instructions that were supposed to come with this kit... they were probably in there too. After about 2 hours of staring at the parts, moving stuff around and looking at a picture of a different rollcage on line, Chris finally had it all figured out. Good thing, because the rest of us were still baffled.

The thing about this Lemons race... or perhaps the thing about owning a $500 car... is that you need to have some creativity. Thankfully we have Chris who can see a rollcage in a pile of pipes.

Check out this link to see the sort of creativity we are up against...

http://jalopnik.com/5510916/this-sentras-oil-blow+by-problem-solved-cheap

(Thanks Scooter)

And now, the moment you have all been waiting for!

Todays WTF moment is brought to you by random sheet metal.

What on earth is that doing there? In person you can see that the cut on the bottom seam is rough, this is definitely another "custom" job from Mr Red.

The other side (sorry, I should have thought to take a picture of it too) does not have any cover there. You can see right out to the wheel. So why does this side need a cover? And, even if it did, why did our friend cut it to fit...whatever it was supposed to fit, better? At this point, it is just hanging down there, waiting to get caught on something or decapitate a squirrel.

Oh, a notice the random red A arm. I assure you, the other one is not red.

While I was under the car, Hagn and I heard a huge and long

running crash from deep within the garage. It appears one of my shelves had a structural integrity failure. The top shelf went and dragged the rest of them shelves down with it. One of the paint cans even blew open and got all over everything. Remarkably, the rest of the paint cans stayed closed and the three cans of paint that are open to dry managed to all land rightside up or it might look like My Little Pony exploded on my garage floor.

None the less, there was a sizable mess created.

And now for the finished product.

What does the car look like now, you ask?

Check it out. We have managed to take our POS and make it worth less money than we bought it for. I did not realize that was even possible.

I wonder how much we can get for the dashboard. It has that nice custom paint job, as do the door panes and center console. I hope we can manage to get a few buck for it. We might want to consider replacing that steering wheel. It looks like some small creature spent months nibbling away at it.

Beyond the driver seat, the stick shift, and the instrument panel, there is nothing left inside.

See if you can guess...

See if you can guess what is missing in this photo?

That is right... Joe took the airbag out. Actually, he managed to get both out without blowing them up. This is important for 2 reasons. First, we are required to remove them for the race. Secondly, unexploded, they are worth money!

If we can get enough for the two airbags, perhaps we can afford to get new shocks. I can assure you the current ones have about 100,000 miles on them.

Ever wonder what an airbag looks like? Yeah, not all that exciting sorry.

There were two rotors in the trunk that managed to sneak into this picture as well. What do you suppose those are worth? 5 bucks here, 5 bucks there, pretty soon we are talking about enough money for a supercharger! Ok, maybe not.

Trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents...

Ever wonder how we are going to be able to afford to repair and restore our race car? We are going to strip it down and sell it.. Here are some pictures from the first nights worth of work.

Not sure if we will be able to sell those door panels after Mr Red decided to spray paint them black. Prior to that, maybe?
But there is lots of other crap in that photo. There is a jack, a sun visor... the glove box with a fresh coat of black paint? We have 4 window regulators. Those have to be worth $10, right? 4 of them would work out to be more than the cost of the motor mount we need... bingo.

In this photo, you see the back seat. Yes, it is a little nasty but hey, at least the genius did not spray paint it black to match everything else.

What do you think a back seat it worth? I really have no idea.









Here you see about the only thing we stripped out I thought might be worth some real cash. These are nice, perfectly functional speakers. They are in good shape and completely free of spray paint. I am offering them up for $75. Who wants them?

I am speechless now...

I almost missed it while I was inspecting under the vehicle. As I slid out from under the car, I spotted those zip ties and gave it another look. Odd, someone left their screw driver here!

Oh wait...

Check out this red neck fix! This guy deserves a MacGuiver award of some kind. The motor mount is ripped to shreds. In an effort to stop the shaking and banging, he wedged this screw driver in here. The handle actually fits into the space between that random frame bolt and the motor mount support on the engine. So as the engine bangs around, it does not hit metal on metal and make noise.. instead it bounces on screw driver handle. The zip tie holds the whole thing in place.

I am really impressed. Not necessarily in a good way or with our car... but the dude with the red obsession was certainly creative. I have to give him credit there.

WOW...

More Engine

This is a view of the other side of our engine. To be honest, I have never looked under the hood of Neon before so I am just guessing here... but does anyone else think there should be some sort of cover over that hole where you can see the two gears (bottom center)?
That cover is actually being held together by a wire on the left hand side. You can also see that we have something of an oil leak towards the bottom of the picture. I think a fluid check might be in order this weekend.
Below that, can you see the 8 high stack of washers on that motor mount bolt? WTF? Just get a shorter bolt dude. It will cost like a dollar.
Check out the red power steering res... High class all the way.

For reasons that are beyond me, this Neon has more dents and rust spots on its oil pan than my Jeep does.
Could that be from the Katrina storm surge continually crashing the car against the failed levies?
Again, what the heck happened to this car in its prior life?


In this photo you get a nice view of the high class, red plastic covering on the hoses. More importantly, look at the level of rust on that tube that connects to the bright red hose. I had trouble getting a good shot of it, but that whole metal tube is completely rusted. Worse than anything else on the vehicle.

Anybody know what used to go here? Whatever it was, we don't have it anymore. Lets hope it was not important.

Ok, seriously... what is with all the red?

What is with all the random red parts? What is that a frame brace painted red? The bottom of the battery tray. Don't forget the A-arm of the front suspension. Very, very wierd.

While we are down here, lets talk about that cold air intake for a moment. Did you see the shiney tube with the double 90 degree bends in the other pics? If not, go back and check them out. At the hidden end of that tube is the air filter. It is wedged down here between the battery tray (above in... drum roll please... red!) and bottom of the head light. He also wrapped part of it in duct tape. I am afraid to see what is under that. But I do happen to be the proud owner of a roll of red duct tape. Some times the universe just aligns for you... you know?

I Should Have Stopped Digging

What is that? Chewing gum patching a hold in the radiator? Perhaps, I did not bother trying to taste it, so I do not know what flavor.

Also notice the bend in the support there. This car was a some sort of front end collision. Everything up here and under the hood is mangled.

Oh, and that blurred orange wire? He rewired the headlights himself.

Look how mangled that support is. I'll bet even if we had a new flat hood, it still would not latch. What happened to this car?

Lets pop...errr... unscrew the hood.

WTF is this sports fans?? Suddenly I have hope. Maybe things are not that bad. Or maybe our boy just liked the color red. Damn.

Those are not all trick parts. Those are cheap plastic mesh weaves over every single hose under the hood. Plus he painted the power steering fluid container red and the battery tray red as well.

No review of this scene would be complete without also pointing out the complete birds nest of wires, some of which are cut, below the battery. Notice how other sections of wire have been wrapped in red electrical tape. Our boy liked his red.

Finally, he also replaced his breather hose with a mini red K&N type filter. Awesome!

And yes, there is no bar to hold the hood so I improvised with an old Ray Bourque hockey stick.

Going Inside the Beast

Lets go inside the belly of the beast. What surprises lurk in the passenger compartment of our new race car?

The carpet has been ripped up and floor painted black. Nice and clean too isn't it?

Check out the shiney dashboard. Is that Armor All? NO. That is a nice fresh coat of spray paint. My whole garage smells like fresh paint. Not only did he paint the dash, but the doors have a fresh coat of black paint. Right down to the cloth sections... Come on dude, you can cover the cloth if you are going to spray paint the inside of your car.

Oh, and notice the green panel around the instrument cluster. Don't ask, I have no idea

No, there is no stereo... though he left some nice speakers, Sonys. Lots of holes in the dash to be honest. And where is that glove box?

Why would anyone sell a perfectly good car for $500?

I wondered why anyone would sell a perfectly good car for $500. After getting a chance to get a really good look at this car, I think I know. For starters, lets take a look at that hood.

Notice how it looks like a wrinkled sheet. It almost looks like it was crushed and someone tried to stretch it back out. Also, you must notice the bolts sticking through the hood and bra at the corners. The hood is secured with those finger tight nuts.

While we are examining the body, lets check out the rust and complete lack of rubber around the windshield.



Having given the car the complete once over, I believe it spent a long time under the flood waters of Katrina... isn't that a car fax comercial, "Slight water damage." This car is covered in rust.




Notice the matching gas cap as well. That is actually white paint that has peeled off. Making me wonder if the paint is disolving off the car or not the orignal paint. Who knows.

More rust.

Purchased the car - 4/6/10

We finally found a car that will work and that we got to before anyone else.  (or we were just the only ones that were dumb enough to buy this bucket of bolts.).  It's a 1996 Dodge Neon.  Sounds nice, right?  Not even close.  We'll post pictures soon of the crap can and let you judge for yourself. 

We picked it up on the 6th, brought it to the Avaya parking lot and promptly locked ourselves out of it b/c there's only one key and it's for the ignition only.  The key to the doors was lost by the previous owner in the woods, so he let me know that the trick to getting in was to pull the window out enough and reach my arm down to unlock it.  Quality vehicle.  Anyway, today on the 8th, I admittedly risked way too much and drove this heap to Gus' house where he has hocked his good status with his wife for a promise that a race car will be born in his garage. 

As you will see, Gus has already torn that car completely apart in a matter of hours on the 8th after we delivered it (thanks to the ride back by an unnamed assailant running late during lunch with me) and has found several things extremely wrong with this car.  I'll leave those details to him, however, one of the big pieces is now behind us and it's on to stripping the car completely down and finding a roll cage.

Application made - 3/30/2010

It's official.  Several of us are going to enter a race called the 24 hours of Lemons.  Website: http://www.24hoursoflemons.com/.  As you have probably notice, our team name is "I'm not a Tiger, I'm a Cheetah".  We needed to come up with a good theme to have fun with and also hopefully increase our chances of getting accepted into the race (albeit so they can have a good laugh at our expense), but hey, it is what it is.  One of us is going to be Tiger Woods and the rest are going to dress up like his mistresses. 

You may have asked what you may be able to win.  Well, if $1500 big ones in nickles isn't a fitting prize for the insanity we're volunteering for, I don't know what is.  There are serious doubts as to whether or not we'll win, but if we can finish 14 1/2 hours of driving over two days without killing the car, our drivers, or the rubber tires lining the course, then we'll have accomplished our mission and hopefully had fun along the way.
Who's crazy enough to do such a thing you ask?  Well, we have 5 out of our 6 drivers so far.  Myself (Ross Miller), Gus Maikish, Joe Westerdale, John Heidenreich, Jon Hagn with the last driver to be named soon.

Wish us luck.  We'll be waiting word back that our application is accepted while we spend way too much in advance getting ready for this race in the hopes our crafty application gets us a spot in the race.  We have a ton to do as we'll need to buy a car, install a roll cage, 5 point harness, suspension, get racing suits and get ready for race days July 10th and 11th at the BFE G.P. in Deer Trail Colorado.  The track link is here: http://www.highplainsraceway.com/

Again, wish us luck and we'll keep you updated as to if and when we're accepted.